MK PLASTICISE MORECAMBE

I’m delighted – and very flattered – to acknowledge that I have quite a large and dedicated personal fanbase on the MK Plastic Dons’ fans’ forum. The wit and bonhomie with which they have met all my previous reports about their lovely club is both touching and heart-warming in equal measure. Thankyou one and all – you truly say more in all the multiple tributes which have been paid to me (and even my parents, who I didn’t realise previously weren’t actually married) all that needs to be said about the club and the sort of people it attracts than I ever could on these pages. So let’s continue in the same spirit of mutual respect and admiration:

Milton Keynes have done reasonably well this season for a new club. (It would have choked me to even acknowledge such a thing in previous accounts of the New Town’s ill-gotten football notoriety.) But it’s also true – it would be churlish to say otherwise. So far, they have won two games and lost two in the league. Although they were put out of the Cup at home by Tilbury, they found themselves eighth in the table before today’s game against Arlesey Town. That’s right – at Manor Fields in the United Counties’ Premier Division South, Milton Keynes Irish are doing things the right way. They came about as a result of the amalgamation of three genuine MK teams – Milton Keynes Robins (formerly Buckingham Town), Unite MK and Milton Keynes Irish Veterans – just two short years ago. Good luck to them – at least they are trying to progress through the English football pyramid like every other team except one that I can think of has had to do. Can anyone possibly guess who I might mean?

The club which blatantly stole the original Wimbledon’s identity (but – crucially – never its indomitable soul) visited north Lancashire today having fallen at the penultimate hurdle last season against Wycombe Wanderers in their attempt to blag their way into the Championship. Well done the Chairboys.

As usual, I’d don’t intend to give any history of previous meetings between our club and these shameless interlopers. I’d like to totally ignore them altogether as ever.  But the reality of two league meetings and at least a League Cup game at their place this season makes this simply untenable any more. The fact that the reality of the fraud which the EFL sanctioned almost twenty years ago means  that they have been drawn out of the hat to be Morecambe’s hosts in the next round of the League Cup is a travesty in itself: they shouldn’t be in the EFL in the first place. But there we go.

Anyway… There was good news yesterday as Morecambe announced the signing of 22-year-old striker Kieran Phillips on a season-long loan from Championship side Huddersfield. He was loaned to Exeter City and Exeter for periods last season and the hope is that the challenge of playing a Division higher this term will be good for everyone concerned. Kieran went straight into the squad today, in which there was still no place for the apparently injured Cole Stockton.

The weather Gods had clearly been listening to Eric and Ernie’s most famous song today. They brought us sunshine most of the time right across north Lancashire – and in the skies at least it was a lovely summer afternoon by the seaside. Sadly, on the field it was a very different story.

Right from the off, the visitors showed that they meant business. They went straight on to the front foot, pinged the ball around quickly between themselves; controlled possession; made intelligent runs and made passes into space behind the home defence which Derek Adams’ men struggled to cope with all afternoon. They looked sharper, quicker and fitter than the men in the red shirts and they had clearly arrived with a plan: to win.

Within two minutes, Bradley Johnson forced Connor Ripley in the home goal into a save. With Captain Dean Lewington pulling the strings on the MK left flank (how old is this man? – I saw him plying his trade for this lot at Christie Park what feels like a lifetime ago), the visitors continued to ask all the questions. Home hearts were in mouths as the old fellow found Darragh Burns running clear of the Shrimps’ defence after eleven minutes but Burns fluffed his lines with a shot well off target. A goal was coming as the opposition moved through the Morecambe lines at will and – very appropriately, it was a will who scored it: Will Griggs. Lewington played the ball to Johnson who pinged it to Conor Grant on the wing and he fed it to the big striker for a finish which was all too easy for the visitors.

It remained virtually one-way traffic with a header from the Plastics’ Full Back Daniel Harvie coming very close after 27 minutes. But Morecambe had a tremendous opportunity to equalise with just over half an hour played. A lovely cross from the right by Jake Taylor was headed powerfully goal-wards by Ryan Delaney but somehow or other, Jamie Cumming in the away goal managed to paw it away. It was an absolutely phenomenal save. And six minutes later, the visitors were even further ahead.

Will Grigg again. Hopeless defending again as the Shrimps made this far too easy for the opposition. They were fortunate to retreat to the Dressing Rooms at half time only two goals down – right at the death, luck had far more to do with skill as Ripley fumbled a Burns’ strike but was allowed the time and space to redeem his own mistake.

In truth, it had been men against boys throughout the first half. Morecambe were shapeless; offered nothing in attack and were constantly being over-run by a team which looked as if they might score virtually every time they had the ball.

King Derek threw on new boy Kieran Phillips at the start of the second half. At last – with a focal point at the top of the pitch – Morecambe were able to apply some concerted pressure to the visiting defence. Kieran looked sharp and quick – and with just a little bit of luck, he could have scored on his debut after fifty minutes. His control as the ball landed at his feet in the middle of the penalty area was just not quite right but the speed with which he covered the ground to attempt to redeem this and force another fantastic save from the away custodian almost made up for it. As things turned-out, this was the second nearest the hosts came to scoring throughout the second half. Arthur Gnahoua tested Cumming again a minute after Phillips was denied but the nearest the hosts came to ruining his clean sheet was with just about an hour played. Jensen Weir’s point-blank header from Donald Love’s cross from the Morecambe right seemed destined to lodge in the back of the net. But Cumming’s left-hand post got in the way.  

Crucially, there had been a change in the Centre Forward position at the other end of the pitch at half time as well, though. Griggs – possibly with Job Already Done – was taken off. In his place was Matthew Dennis; a star of the future. He’s strong; he’s quick; he reads the play well – and he is blessed with truly exceptional skill. The only way the Shrimps’ defence could cope with this lad – in all truth – was to foul him. But they had to catch him first in order to do so – and, more often than not, they couldn’t.

He played his part as MK hit Morecambe quickly on the break after 61 minutes and scored once more. Again, it was really poor defending. The ball was worked up the visitors’ left and played into the centre, where Grant found it far too easy to bury it. Finally, Dennis got his name on the score sheet with 67 minutes on the clock. It was a great counter-attacking goal – and another far too easy one for the men in the white strip.

So the game ended four-nil to the visitors. It could have been more – a lot more. The gulf between these two sides today was like the Atlantic – massive. But the gulf in resources – we must remind ourselves – is bigger still.

Despite the performance and the score, I personally retain total faith in our Manager. The Shrimps found themselves even deeper in the mire at the bottom of League One after the game:  still next to bottom. But it’s very tight down there and not many teams will play as well as Milton Keynes did today. These were the Manager’s typically concise thoughts after the defeat:

“Over the afternoon, I thought they were very clinical when they had their opportunities. And we weren’t so good in front of goal.”

Morecambe: 1 Connor Ripley; 2 Donald Love(C); 4 Liam Gibson; 5 Farrend Rawson; 6 Ryan Delaney (21 Ryan Cooney 77’); 7 Jake Taylor; 8 Ousmane Fané (18 Shane McLoughlin 70’); 11 Dylan Connolly (17 Caleb Watts 70’); 14 Arthur Gnahoua (25 Adam Major 88’); 15 Jensen Weir; 16 Jacob Bedeau (23 Kieran Phillips 45’).

Subs not used: 12 Adam Smith; 26 Cameron Rooney.

Plastic Milton Keynes: 1 Jamie Cumming; 4 Jack Tucker; 3 Dean Lewington (C); 5 Warren O’Hora; 9 Will Grigg (30 Matthew Dennis 45’); 14 Bradley Johnson; 16 Conor Grant (19 Barry 77’); 20 Darragh Burns (7 Matthew Smith 60’); 21 Daniel Harvie (33 Zak Jules 86’); 22 Henry Lawrence; 28 Dawson Devoy (8 Ethan Robson 60’).

Subs not used: 12 Daniel Oyegoke; 23 Franco Ravizzoli.

 Ref: Leigh Doughty.

Att: 3,995 (279 Plastic People)