ENTERPRISE NATIONAL LEAGUE, TUESDAY, 4th NOVEMBER 2025.

Not All Doom And Gloom at Hartlepool.

Morecambe headed north and east to the coast of County Durham today to re-acquaint themselves with a club they last faced in a league game over eight years ago. This is what I wrote about tonight’s hosts in my Review of National League clubs earlier in the year:

Hartlepool United was founded in 1908 as the Hartlepools (note the plural) United Football & Athletic Club Company Ltd. (Why the plural? After extensive and painstaking research, I have discovered that there was a football link between the fishing port of Old Hartlepool and the town proper, then known as West Hartlepool. As the two places basically merged as creeping building development work brought them together at least geographically, the two separate clubs they previously had merged in 1908: hence the extra `s’…)

I remember `Sir’ John Hall – one-time owner of Newcastle United – ranting ages ago about some supposed `Geordie Nation’ as if it was a rival to Judaism as the Chosen People or a better version of Adolf Hitler’s Master Race – contrasts that aren’t without their irony I suppose. Whatever the weaknesses of this pretty elitist notion, there is no doubt that the north-east of England as a whole contains certain distinct identities. Up there, Geordies are also known as `Tackems’ and people from nearby Sunderland `Mackems’. (`We makem – you takem!”) The tribal rivalry between the two places has often deteriorated into serious violence when their football clubs meet. But their antagonism apparently stretches back to the Civil War.  Newcastle were Royalists; Sunderland Parliamentarians (one of the few battles the Mackems have ever won when you come to think of it…)

I digress.  Middlesbrough is also in the north-east and they don’t generally like it when outsiders call them Geordies – the town is much further south on the River Tees and has an identity all of its own. So where does that leave Hartlepool or even Hartlepools?

It leaves it a bit further north from Middlesboro but about thirty miles south of both Sunderland and Newcastle, nestled by the side of the North Sea.

So what is the collective name for a resident of the town? It is certainly not `Geordie’ or `Smackem’ – it is something both far more unusual and specific; they are all Monkey Hangers.

I kid you not. The legend is that – just over two hundred years ago during the Napoleonic Wars – a French ship was wrecked in a storm just off Hartlepool. The only survivor was a monkey – probably a pet or a ship’s mascot. The locals had never seen a monkey before – but they equally had never seen a Frenchman either. But they knew that Napoleon’s sailors spoke a language unlike their own. And wore a uniform. So when the terrified creature – which had been dressed in its own Monkey Suit not unlike its drowned crew – started chattering, the natives took the poor thing to be speaking French – and hanged it as a Napoleonic spy.

I would expect most people – in these supposedly enlightened times – to be embarrassed by this tale of utterly primitive and mindless savagery. But the good people of Hartlepool have not only embraced it but promoted it – indulging in literal Gallows Humour by calling their football club’s Mascot H’angus, for example. (The man behind the mask actually became the Mayor of Hartlepool in 2002, running on the slogan `free bananas for schoolchildren!’).

But that’s enough about the distinct culture of the place. What do we know about the club?

Their Council-owned Victoria Ground – once home to West Hartlepool Rugby Union Club – is 109 miles from the Mazuma Mobile Stadium in Morecambe. Once founded, Hartlepools United played in the North Eastern League from 1908 until 1921. This was a pivotal year for many Football League Clubs as it marked the introduction of new regionalised Divisions: Divisions Thee North and South. They stayed in this lowest tier – rebranded the Fourth Division during 1958 – for the best part of half a century, only once gaining promotion (in 1968) before immediately being relegated again. They chose to call themselves just plain `Hartlepool’ at this time before becoming Hartlepool United in 1977.

These minor details are important – in the absence of actually winning anything worth writing home about for almost all its history, there is not a lot more to say about a club whose slogan could have been `mediocre’ for most of its existence so far.

Wait a minute, though – Brian Clough not only played for them but started his Managerial career at the Victoria Ground even though he soon moved on to Pastures New at Derby County. Oh – and Cyril Knowles (ex-Spurs full-back) was also moderately successful at the club (“Nice One Cyril!”) until brain cancer sadly intervened – he has a stand named after him at the ground.  Ah – and a stand at the Victoria Ground on the site where Cyril’s commemorative one can be found today was bombed by a German Zeppelin and completely destroyed during 1916. (A claim for compensation by the club was subsequently rejected by the government in Berlin.)

Whilst searching in vain for anything else positive to say about them, I discovered one record which Hartlepool would definitely not like to hold, however. This is the number of times they have had to apply for re-election in the Closed Shop of the Football League. Between 1914 and 1984, the club had to rely on the Old Boy’s Network to keep them a member of the elite as they applied for re-election no less than fourteen times (that’s a staggering twice a decade on average). This is shameful not just for the club itself but for an EFL organisation which was prepared to tolerate this absurd situation when clubs outside their cosy little cabal had far more to offer – but couldn’t get in. So when the bastion of Football League privilege was finally broken in 1987, the clock was ticking for the Monkey Hangers.

Defying past expectations, Hartlepool had not only actually been in League One for most of the Twenty-First Century but reached the Play-Off Final against Sheffield Wednesday at Cardiff in 2005 – only to lose 4-2. Normal Service was quickly resumed as they were relegated back to League Two – albeit for only a single season – in 2006. But time finally caught-up with the Pools. Having slipped back into League Two again in 2014, they were at last relegated out of the EFL altogether during 2017.

The Board at Hartlepool had the good sense, however, to poach Manager Dave Challinor from AFC Fylde and under his guidance, Hartlepool were back in the Big Time by 2022. Dave left for further success at then non-league Stockport County and the club he left behind began to struggle anew. They survived for just two seasons in the EFL and last season – with Simon Grayson at the helm – Pools finished eleventh in the National League. If they win anything worth winning this time out – the FA Trophy for instance – it will be their first notable success in over a century of trying.

The Shrimps and the Pools have met twelve times in the past in various competitions. Morecambe have won three of these; Hartlepool twice as many. They will next meet under floodlights when Morecambe travel to the Victoria Ground on Tuesday, 4^th November 2025. Hartlepool will travel to the west coast of the country for the reverse fixture on Tuesday, 24^th March 2026 for another evening game.

The Pools started tonight’s game in tenth position in the National League, having sacked Simon Grayson last month after he had guided the club to just a single win in eleven games. He lasted precisely four months in the Hot Seat at the Victoria Ground. Since then, things have hardly improved. The Monkey Hangers have been dumped out of the FA Cup by non-league Gainsborough Trinity; humiliated by the Northern Premier League side 1-3 in front of their own supporters in County Durham in a replay which they were expected to win easily. In their last game, though, they won for the first time in six matches; beating Solihull Moors 2-0 (with an opening goal from former Shrimps’ striker Vadaine Oliver) at the same time that Morecambe were losing 2-1 at Eastleigh. Adam Campbell would also line-up this evening for them to play against a former club of his and one-time Shrimps’ stopper Adam Smith – the Goalkeeping Coach and reserve stopper for Pools – would warm the bench tonight. His Wikipedia entry is fascinating: I daren’t repeat here what it says about his extra-curricular activities in Thailand in the `Personal Life’ bit – these were kept very quiet when he was on Morecambe’s books – as well they might be…

Hartlepool Manager Nicky Featherstone said this about tonight’s visitors prior to kick-off:

“They are a better team than their league position suggests. I’m expecting a tough game but one we’re looking to go on and build a bit of momentum from.”

His opposite number – Ashvir Singh Johal – was typically ebullient about the prospects for his team after having had a significant amount of time (for the only occasion so far this season) to train and prepare for tonight’s clash. He said:

“I think the break has worked well for recovery but also worked really well for preparation. The players have had a couple of days off where they are able to completely disconnect: and that’s important mentally, especially after such an intense period. But we go into another intense period now. The lads have had a great few days and I’m sure we’ll see the benefits of that in the game.” 

As far as his opponents are concerned, he added:

“They’re going to be a good side. They are very clinical so the chances they get; they score. They had a great start to the season but in the last couple of games, we have also seen them back to those levels. They were very good in their last game where they were very compact and didn’t concede a lot of chances and when they had the ball, they attacked fast and especially down the sides. We need to make sure we protect the space and stop the crosses.”

Ashvir said that George Thomas and Gwion Edwards would not be available for selection tonight due to injury and that Gwion would be missing for at least the next two weeks. He will be missed: he’s probably the best player on the club’s books and has led by example in recent games both as Skipper and a key goal scorer.

The weather had been pretty poor in County Durham before the game and it remained windy, cold and sometimes very wet as the game progressed. Hartlepool fired a warning shot across Morecambe bows in the very first minute as winger Besart Topalloj got the better of the combined efforts of Admiral Muskwe and Emmerson Sutton on the left. But up the other end, Jake Cain clearly was pulled back off the ball on the edge of the Hartlepool penalty area on the Morecambe left during the first minute but Referee Richard Aspinall gave nothing. In the third minute, Captain Azeez again indulged in his habit of playing the ball backwards; Maldini Calcurri played it back to him and moved to the left for a return pass which was intercepted by Jermaine Francis who slipped it to Adam Campbell, who scored against his former employers all too easily. It was an appalling goal to concede in which all the Shrimps’ frailties of the season so far were far too apparent again. As Morecambe seemed to struggle to get to grips with the pace of the game, the impressive Campbell tried an audacious shot from the half way line with ten minutes gone which Jamal Blackman in the away goal struggled to stop. The Official Hartlepool Man of the Match came close again almost immediately afterwards, with a powerful low strike which only just went wide of the away goal to Jamal’s left.

But the visitors had a good chance to equalise after ten minutes. Blackman passed the ball to Calcurri who played Lewis Payne in on the right flank and the full-back played a superb pass into the centre which an on-rushing Elijah Dixon-Bonner poked over the bar at full-stretch. Then, an excellent ball from the Pools’ left to Francis with eleven minutes on the clock gave the Hartlepool man a clear shot on goal only for him to miss the target altogether. But good interplay between Payne and Sutton saw a shot well blocked by the Monkey Hangers a minute later.  Then Captain Azeez gave the ball away in the home half, made no attempt to recover and saw Danny Johnson spurn another chance for the hosts with almost a quarter of an hour played. Johnson was then denied by a fairly routine save by Blackman with 20 minutes gone. Then – with Hartlepool asking all the questions and Morecambe too often clearing their lines by aimlessly hoofing the ball up the field, the ball ran across the Shrimps’ goalmouth from the Pools’ right only for two onrushing home forwards to fail to connect with it. As the rain started to be torrential at times, Morecambe weathered the storm in more senses than one and had the next good chance after 28 minutes. Azeez started and finished a move which began in his own half and saw the ball worked up the right to Sutton, who slung over an excellent cross which the Skipper hit first time. But Millwall loanee goalkeeper George Evans managed to stretch out a despairing hand to his left and pushed the ball against the post from which it bounced away to safety: it was a really good stop. However, Evans came for the ball and missed a punch from a Morecambe corner after almost forty minutes only to see Ludwig Francillette head it just over his bar for a goal-kick.

So half time arrived with Hartlepool in the lead by the narrowest of margins. I thought that they were by far the better side for the first twenty-five minutes or so, during which Morecambe looked ponderous; lost far too many second balls and kept giving it away with poor or aimless passes forwards. The tendency that they have had all season to play the ball sideways and backwards was all too evident too – and that led to the goal. However, I thought that the team improved as the half grew older and there were signs towards the end that they might actually get back into it.

Just two minutes had been played in the second half when Jake Cain played-in the impressive Admiral Muskwe on the Morecambe right but his effort on goal was well-stopped by Evans low down to his left. The Admiral got away again in the fiftieth minute and this time, he was brought-down in the home penalty area by a clumsy challenge from Cameron John. He took the penalty himself, coolly slotting the ball into the corner to the goalkeeper’s right to notch his fourth goal of the season and become the Shrimps’ top scorer. The game was pretty scrappy after that but I thought that Ash’s men were the better side until injury time. Ben Tollitt should have scored after 67 minutes when a superb pass by Azeez from the centre of the field gave him a clear run on goal as he bore-down from the left. He tried to swerve the ball past Evans instead of belting it – and just missed the target to the goalkeeper’s left. There were no more clear-cut opportunities for either side until injury time arrived. I thought that Morecambe had been on top and looked like the likely winners as the home crowd fell noticeably silent but in the first minute of stoppages, Blackman saved the point with a tremendous stop from substitute Alex Reid who found himself free and unmarked in the centre of the penalty area with the goal at his mercy.

So the game ended in a draw. As many home fans jeered them off the field, Hartlepool slipped one place to eleventh in the National League. The bad news for Morecambe was that they have now played the same number of games as all their rivals for the Wooden Spoon in the bottom four of the table but they are still next to bottom. But there were some good things about tonight’s performance. They defended better as a unit – apart from the appalling goal – than they have done previously this season. Jake Cain was excellent again; Ben Williams and the Admiral caught the eye and both Maldini Calcurri and Lewis Payne looked solid at the back. Emmerson Sutton also played well most of the time. The jury is still out on Miguel Azeez: he did some good work this evening but wasn’t strong enough on the ball, failed to lead by example and was culpable for their goal into the bargain. Other players – Rolando Aarons perhaps most of all – have a lot to prove. But the Manager was fairly satisfied with the performance tonight. Ash said after the game that he was:

“Extremely disappointed with how we started. We started very flat; on the back foot. They took the game to us. We invited the press too easily. From a team point of view, really disappointed with the first 30 minutes, but pleased with the reaction. The way the lads reacted and their character for the rest of the game was good. We started the second half really well. We got the penalty. We had more chances that we should have scored – maybe two or three more chances. Pleased with the willingness to fight. Earlier in the season, we maybe didn’t see that competitive spirit but we’re seeing it now.”

Hartlepool United: 12 George Evans; 2 Jay Benn (Y); 3 Cameron John; 5 Maxim Kouogun; 7 Jermaine Francis (4 Tom Parkes 61’); 9 Danny Johnson (19 Alex Reid 61’): 10 Adam Campbell; 14 Nathan Sheron (C); 15 Jack Hunter (18 Jamie Miley 61’); 23 Besart Topalloj; 28 Matty Daly.

Subs not used: 40 Adam Smith; 8 Nathan Ferguson; 34 Kian Foreman; 38 Brad Walker.

Morecambe:  40 Jamal Blackman; 2 Lewis Payne; 5 Maldini Calcurri; 6 Ludwig Francillette; 8 Miguel Azeez (C); 10 Jake Cain (24 Yann Songo’o 79’); 11 Admiral Muskwe (Y); 15 Ben Williams (14 Alie Sesay 94’); 18 Ben Tollitt; 28 Emmerson Sutton (21 Joe Nuttall 79’); 29 Elijah Dixon-Bonner (12 Rolando Aarons 79’).

Subs not used: 1 Archie Mair; 33 Arjan Raikhy; 36 Jack Nolan.

Ref: Richard Aspinall.

Att: 3,122 (285 from Morecambe.)